Uma Versus Upma

Meera Ganapathi

If you ever see a girl blowing her nose into a dosa, don’t be surprised. That’s Uma.
She is what everyone calls a very, very nice girl. But even though she is a very, very nice girl, she has one bad habit.

She loves playing with her breakfast.
Whenever Amma turns her back, she grabs her breakfast and makes it vanish in clever little ways.

That’s how the dosa becomes a hanky!
Uma folds it into a neat, crisp triangle and pins it onto her uniform.

When it’s vadas for breakfast, Uma slides them onto her fingers like rings and pretends to be a great queen wearing many precious vada-jewels.

Bondas are her least favourite.
So Uma stuffs them into the sides of her mouth and pretends she has chubby cheeks like that girl from Class 4-B.
“Bye, Amma!”

Amma is a great cook and her idlis are famous in their colony. But Uma doesn’t care much for Amma’s cooking.
Instead, she fills her pockets with those famous soft-soft idlis and uses them as cushions on the school bus.

Uttapams become hats.
P ongal is fed to Malligai the cat.
Nothing can make Uma eat her breakfast.
But today, she has a small problem.
Amma has made soft, mushy, squishy rawa upma
and served it on her favourite plate.

But what can Uma do with this upma?
She can’t pin it to her uniform.
It wouldn’t stay.
She can’t wear it as rings.
It wouldn’t fit.
She can’t stuff it into her cheeks.
It would melt.
She can’t use it as a cushion.
What a useless cushion!
She can’t wear it as a hat.
It would fall off!
And she can’t feed it to Malligai the cat
because everyone knows
that cats hate upma!

Uma wonders what to do with the upma.
As she thinks and blinks and twirls her curls, she puts a spoon of upma in her mouth by mistake.
Oooh! What was that she just bit into? A salty, roasted cashew filled with ghee! Yum!

Uma takes another bite hoping to find more cashews.
But she bites into something crunchy, fresh and juicy instead. Carrots! Mmm!

She takes another bite, wondering what she would find this time.
Owwwwiee! What is this strong and spicy little piece?
Ah… ginger!

Curious, Uma can’t stop now.
But oooh, aaah, ouch! She just bit into a green chilli and her mouth is burning!
Uma gobbles up all the upma to put out the fire in her mouth.

The fire is finally out. And guess what?
And her plate is empty!

“Uma! Where did the breakfast vanish to this time?” asks Amma.
“Into my tummy,” says Uma.

Uma no longer plays with her breakfast. She has become a very, very, very nice girl. Everyone’s happy with her these days.
Everyone except Malligai the cat! Pssst… so if you find her somewhere, feed her some pongal, okay?